Brute force in parenting ..

My husband and I use starkly different approaches when it comes to parenting our children. While I frequently resort to the faster, short cut approach of brute force to enforce discipline and compliance he always takes the longer, arduous route of patiently wrangling and reasoning with them.

Today, in one epiphanous moment I have decided to let go brute force once and for all in parenting. I hope to use the slower but surer force of love and reasoning.

This decision comes from the conviction that the 'means to achieve any end must also be just'. Brute force is violence and using it even sparingly makes me a brute. Brute force only achieves immediate outward compliance. Inward transformation is only achieved by appealing to another's reason.

This is what Gandhi's Satyagraha stands for. Employing peaceful methods at all times. The decision to give up brute force will demand more of me ..in developing patience and exercising self control.

Non-violence is a weapon of the strong - Gandhi

Quality maketh a man ..

In the innumerable interactions with people during the course of life only a few leave a lasting impression on us. The ones that do are men that set a high personal standard for themselves. Inwardly our respect is reserved only for them.

Once we get past the physical appearances, cultural differences and external characteristics, the true distinguishing factor between men is the quality he demands of himself and others. We reveal our own standards in all our daily actions. In the quality of our work, our ethics, our speech, the books we read .. in the quality of food we eat and what we serve to others

What distinguishes the “elite” from the masses is only their insistence upon “quality.” - Dag Hammarskjold

Simplicity .. contentment with less

Simplicity of the Amish, Quakers and Shakers

The ongoing journey of simplifying my life has involved shedding excesses in all aspects of living paving the way for a quieter, centred, inwardly rich life.

Material excesses and dependency on stuff must be reduced to essentials. This includes excess body weight accumulated from years of neglect. Adopting a lean, natural diet and moderation in consumption removes the heaviness and keeps us lithe and agile.

Mental excesses are aspects that impact our mind. Relationship invariably affects our mind. Keeping social interactions down to a few meaningful ones is worth more than several superficial connections. Our speech and thought must be simple and straight. A simple philosophy to live by frees us from many a burdens .. of rituals, traditions, religions, compulsions and preconceived beliefs freeing up the mind from many reins. For me it is a pantheistic philosophy that ties everything together beautifully both logically and spiritually.

As we become simpler in our ways, we can begin to experience the freedom and lightness of being.

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free 
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be, 
And when we find ourselves in the place just right, 
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight. 
When true simplicity is gained, 
To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed, 
To turn, turn will be our delight, 
Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.

- Shaker song by Elder Joseph Brackett.

Hope always ..

This picture gives me great hope. No matter how much concrete we dump, life will still find an opening. The elements of nature are constantly at work trying to restore the natural order of things. Anything going against nature will eventually decay and crumble. So long as we are aligned with nature, there is always hope and healing!

The natural healing force within each of us is the greatest force in getting well. Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease. - Hippocrates (ancient Greek physician)