Violin and Lessons on Life

As an adult learning to play the violin, there are many insights that I can draw from my learning which apply directly to life and living.

To play the violin an adult must unlearn a lot of bad habits that have accumulated over the years. From inattention, one must go towards becoming more attentive, sensitive and aware. From stiffness, tension and rigidity, one must become firm yet relaxed, soft and supple. From excesses towards moderation, the optimal placement and application of energy.

The journey to playing the violin well is a slow process of eliminating all that is gross in us to become more refined. In essence the violin holds up a challenge for us to become better human beings, sensitive, aware and alive!

When a person is alive, he is soft and supple
When a person dies, he becomes hard and rigid
When a plant is alive, it is pliant and tender
When a plant is dead, it becomes dry and brittle
Hence, the hard and rigid are companions of the dead
The soft and supple are companions of the living  - Lao Tzu

Death, a close companion ..

I just put down the book "The Death of Ivan Ilyich" by Tolstoy. The story explores the torment of a dying man who frittered away his life. In his final hours, he had no meaningful deeds to recall, nothing to console him of a life well lived. "Ivan Illych's life had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible". (Tolstoy)

On two occasions in my life, I saw death straight in the face. One was a decade ago when my father-in-law passed away unexpectedly at the age of sixty, brimming with life and with great hopes of enjoying his retirement. The other was when my daughter had a major surgery when she was barely a year old. There was a chance she would not survive.

Since then something in me changed forever. Death was no longer something morbid. Death has become a close companion walking hand in hand with life enhancing every aspect of it;
   reminding me of the transience of life;
   teaching me gratitude for the precious gift of my own life and that of our loved ones;
   keeping me firmly grounded;
   urging me to live a meaningful life with small acts of kindness, love and service;
   enabling me to die fully to every day to start life afresh again with every dawn.

"Death's stamp gives value to the coin of life; making it possible to buy with life what is truly precious" - Tagore

"It is good to have a reminder of death before us, for it helps us to understand the impermanence of life on this earth, and this understanding may aid us in preparing for our own death. He who is well prepared is he who knows that he is nothing compared with Wakan-Tanka who is everything; then he knows that world which is real" - Black Elk 

A hobby is a lifeline ..

I feel that every one must cultivate at least one hobby, one pure pursuit to devote oneself to in our spare time. Be it art, music, science or sport, a hobby can serve as a lifeline to grasp onto in times of crisis.

A hobby is a safe haven to retreat into when life or the world around is in turmoil. A hobby brings the mind to the present. It gives rest to a restless mind by eliminating pointless thoughts. Hobbies not only bring joy but also prevents us from spending our time in empty, material pursuits. 

Creativity and worship ..

No other culture in the world lays as much emphasis on creativity as Hinduism. Creativity and worship are so entwined that there is no way to distinguish one from the other. Temples are the centers of culture, where art, music, dance, poetry, plays and dramas are nurtured and offered to the gods. Ranjoli is the offering of art, Geetanjali is the offering of music, Nrityanjali is the offering of dance.

Creativity lies at the very core of Hinduism urging us to fulfill our creative potential every single day. Creativity is the highest offering to the divine. To be immersed in a creative act is worship!!

Fulfilling our creative potential is worship

The Joy of Writing

Think, feel and write

The daily demands on us leaves very little time for creative solitude. I long for quiet interludes to spend some time writing. For me, writing quenches a deep thirst leaving a refreshing feeling of fulfilment.

I just put down the book 'On the Move' by Dr Oliver Sacks. He was a voracious writer, writing journals and books all through his long life. In this book Dr Sacks captures what writing means to him which resonates entirely with my own feelings.

"For the most part, I rarely look at the journals I have kept for the greater part of a lifetime. The act of writing is itself enough; it serves to clarify my thoughts and feelings. The act of writing is an integral part of my mental life; ideas emerge, are shaped, in the act of writing.  

My journals are not written for others, nor do I usually look at them myself, but they are a special, indispensable form of talking to myself.

..The act of writing.. gives me a pleasure,  a joy, unlike any other. It takes me to another place ...where I am totally absorbed and oblivious to distracting thoughts, worries, preoccupations, or indeed the passage of time. In those rare, heavenly states of mind, I may write nonstop until I can no longer see the paper. Only then do I realize that evening has come and that I have been writing all day.

Carrying prejudice to the grave ..

The flame of life

My husband's grandmother passed away a few days ago at the ripe old age of 95years. She was a matriarch who ruled the family with tyranny. On hearing of her death, I felt a sense of regret that she never let go of deep rooted prejudices and carried them all the way to the grave. Despite spending countless hours in temples and religious readings, her heart never softened with love nor did her mind expand with wisdom.

Her brahminical sense of superiority and entitlement. Her prejudice and treatment of people of other castes and creeds. Her preference for the boy child over the girl. Her treatment of daughters-in-law as nothing but work horses. Her preferential treatment of lighter skinned grandchildren over the darker ones. Thus she is remembered.

Her life is a reminder for us to wash away all prejudices that stain our heart before the flame of life dies out.

On the Red Road ..

Red Road

The Red Road is a personal journey through life that one must walk alone. It is the good road of balance and harmony. A road that we pave by our daily actions and decisions.

The land we live on is the sacred land of the Red people, the indigenous people of North America. Their spirituality will inevitably seep into us and lead us along the Red Road, teaching us again to honor the earth and live according to the rhythms of nature.

Quality maketh a man ..

In the innumerable interactions with people during the course of life only a few leave a lasting impression on us. The ones that do are men that set a high personal standard for themselves. Inwardly our respect is reserved only for them.

Once we get past the physical appearances, cultural differences and external characteristics, the true distinguishing factor between men is the quality he demands of himself and others. We reveal our own standards in all our daily actions. In the quality of our work, our ethics, our speech, the books we read .. in the quality of food we eat and what we serve to others

What distinguishes the “elite” from the masses is only their insistence upon “quality.” - Dag Hammarskjold

Simplicity .. contentment with less

Simplicity of the Amish, Quakers and Shakers

The ongoing journey of simplifying my life has involved shedding excesses in all aspects of living paving the way for a quieter, centred, inwardly rich life.

Material excesses and dependency on stuff must be reduced to essentials. This includes excess body weight accumulated from years of neglect. Adopting a lean, natural diet and moderation in consumption removes the heaviness and keeps us lithe and agile.

Mental excesses are aspects that impact our mind. Relationship invariably affects our mind. Keeping social interactions down to a few meaningful ones is worth more than several superficial connections. Our speech and thought must be simple and straight. A simple philosophy to live by frees us from many a burdens .. of rituals, traditions, religions, compulsions and preconceived beliefs freeing up the mind from many reins. For me it is a pantheistic philosophy that ties everything together beautifully both logically and spiritually.

As we become simpler in our ways, we can begin to experience the freedom and lightness of being.

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free 
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be, 
And when we find ourselves in the place just right, 
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight. 
When true simplicity is gained, 
To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed, 
To turn, turn will be our delight, 
Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.

- Shaker song by Elder Joseph Brackett.

Hope always ..

This picture gives me great hope. No matter how much concrete we dump, life will still find an opening. The elements of nature are constantly at work trying to restore the natural order of things. Anything going against nature will eventually decay and crumble. So long as we are aligned with nature, there is always hope and healing!

The natural healing force within each of us is the greatest force in getting well. Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease. - Hippocrates (ancient Greek physician) 

What is man without the beast?

After the long, cold, dark and quiet winter months, what a delight it is to hear the first honking of the Canadian geese way up in the sky announcing their arrival.

Newer sounds start to fill the air as the birds come home . The gulls, ravens, starlings and doves follow the geese. Though the weather is still cold, the squealing, cawing sounds warms the heart and awakens in us a wonderful anticipation of spring. We share the land with these birds and beasts. They  reveal to us the ways of nature and its eternal cycles. How desolate our lives would  be without them!

"What is man without the beasts? For if all the beast were gone, man would die of a great loneliness of the spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are connected" - Chief Seattle

Leisure, to stand and stare ..

Today leisure is sadly equated to laziness. We are hell bent on eliminating leisure entirely from our lives and that of our children too. We pack every bit of our time with activities and the lull between activities is filled with anxieties. I came across this beautiful poem on "leisure" by Welsh poet W.H. Davies where he laments the futility of a life without leisure.  The beauty of living is lost when leisure is lost. Let us allow then some leisure in our lives, a daily sabbath of a half hour sans activities or anxieties!

Some time to stand and stare .. 

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad day light,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare. - W.H. Davies

Less of the material, more of the intangible ..

The quest for a meaningful life will inevitably lead us away from the material, drawing us more and more towards the intangible treasures of the universe. Knowledge, love, friendship, music, truth, solitude, beauty .. none of these can be touched, they can only be experienced. Hellen Keller so rightly said "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."

To cultivate and nourish them daily makes life so much more meaningful and fulfilling, unlike material pursuits which always leaves us feeling unsatisfied and wanting for more of the next in thing.

“The life of sensation is the life of greed; it requires more and more. The life of the spirit requires less and less;  - Annie Dillard

A Kinship with Trees ..

The trees .. I have gotten to know them well over the last few years ... the ashes, aspens, birches, beeches, oaks, maples, walnut, hemlocks, pines, firs and spruces. From far, I recognize the white pine from their weather beaten forlorn silhouettes, the quaking aspen from its chandelier like fluttering leaves, the birches stand out with the pure white of their bark and I feel a strong kinship with these trees, a feeling so hard to verbalize.

Trees are sanctuaries that preach the ancient law of life .. 

Hermann Hesse's profoundly beautiful words captures what trees mean to us and to life!! 
"For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfill themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree. When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. And every young farmboy knows that the hardest and noblest wood has the narrowest rings, that high on the mountains and in continuing danger the most indestructible, the strongest, the ideal trees grow.

Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.

A tree says: A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life. The attempt and the risk that the eternal mother took with me is unique, unique the form and veins of my skin, unique the smallest play of leaves in my branches and the smallest scar on my bark. I was made to form and reveal the eternal in my smallest special detail.

A tree says: My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live.

When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. . . . Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.

A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one’s suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life. It leads home. Every path leads homeward, every step is birth, every step is death, every grave is mother.

So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy before our own childish thoughts: Trees have long thoughts, long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives than ours. They are wiser than we are, as long as we do not listen to them. But when we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy. Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness." 

Beauty, life and love are eternal - 'Snowflake' Bentley

Bentley's words contain some profound messages for all of us. He studied the science behind snowflakes and that lead him to a deeper understanding of life and a fascination for nature. Similarly in all our learnings, we must go beyond the mere facts and figures, to develop a feeling of wonder for this miracle that life is!

Bentley's labor of love ..

“The snow crystals . . . come to us not only to reveal the wondrous beauty of the minute in Nature, but to teach us that all earthly beauty is transient and must soon fade way. But though the beauty of the snow is evanescent, like the beauties of the autumn, as of the evening sky, it fades but to come again.”

"One has the pleasant certainty that in her deep reservoirs Nature keeps an endless source of beauty and that, over centuries, storms will continue to flood the surface of the earth with new and beautiful jewels that will entertain and delight everyone that loves beauty."

"this exquisite beauty so lavishly scattered over the earth and yet there should be no despair for this miracle like unto the miracle of  the springs awakening will come and come again for all time..either here or somewhere in the universe. For beauty, life and love are eternal. The things that make the universe worthwhile and justify its existence."

"The deeper one enters into the study of Nature, the further one ventures into and along the by-paths that, like a mystic maze, thread Nature's realm in every direction, the broader and grander becomes the vista opened up to the view."

"There is a need of a greater love for, and appreciation of such things, of the beautiful and wonderful in nature...There are oceans of enjoyment, soul satisfying pleasure to be had in Nature's art and beauty, as shown freely to us in the common things all about us."

"I am a poor man, except in satisfaction I get out of my work. In that respect, I am one of the richest men in the world. I wouldn't change places with Henry Ford or John D. Rockefeller for all their millions! And I wouldn't change places with a king; not for all his power and glory. I have my snowflakes!

It isn't what we have, it's what we do and enjoy that makes life worth living.  - Wilson A Bentley

Nesting Goose: Love is at the heart of creation

The same goose making her nest this year

Every April through September we get the great opportunity of watching the Canadian Geese go through another cycle of birthing and rearing the little ones. It seems like I will never ever tire of watching them. Last year, I found four nesting areas alongside the wetlands and the marshes. So this year it was easy to look for them as the goose will choose the very same spot again. Everyday after I pick my children from school, we walk over and check on the nesting goose.

Its been a few days now since I saw her preparing the nest. The mother goose plucks soft down from her own breast to line the nest for the delicate eggs. The last two days were harsh with the relentless rain pouring throughout the day. The mother goose was still there with her head tucked low. She still had a long way to go..almost a month. She will not eat, drink, or bathe while incubating. The father goose is constantly on guard standing nearby so she accomplish the immense job that nature has bestowed on her.

This is the time when extraordinary effort, dedication, selfless love, sacrifice .. all come together to continue the song of creation. From now until October, the couple have only one goal and that is to ensure that their little goslings survive. Do we need any other examples of a great mother, a great husband and a great father? If this is not love, what else is??

Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation - Rabindranath Tagore

Mother's Notes For Me

My mother wrote down a few Bhagavad Gita verses and their meaning for me on a sheet of paper when she came visiting a few years ago. I am sharing them here because they contain beautiful messages and very valuable instructions for living a righteous life.

My sweet mother's writing

klaibyam ma sma gamah partha
naitat tvayy upapadyate
ksudram hrdaya-daurbalyam
tyaktvottistha parantapa
This shlokam goads one to face life boldly and fearlessly and to never lose heart. We should never run away from the hardships of life. Hardships fall back when we cease to flee from them. It says, do not yield to unmanliness. It does not become you. Cast off such petty weakness of heart and arise.

karmanye vadhikaraste 
ma phaleshu kadachana, 
ma karmaphalaheturbhurma 
te sangostvakarmani 
An action is righteous only if it done without an ulterior motive. It is your right to work only but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction.

uddaredtatmanaatmanam 
atmana ma va sadayet
atmaiva atmano bandhu 
atmaiva ripuratmana
(This is my favorite) You must love and respect yourself first. You must uplift yourselves. You should never undermine yourself. You alone are your friend and you alone are your enemy.

mattah parataram nanyat
kincid asti dhananjaya
mayi sarvam idam protam
sutre mani-gana iva
These is nothing superior. Like pearls strung on a thread, everything is hooked unto me.
All of creation is connected to the divine.

yathakasa-sthito nityam
vayuh sarvatra-go mahan
tatha sarvani bhutani
mat-sthanity upadharaya
Understand that just as the mighty air is ever present and blowing everywhere in the atmosphere, the divine spirit pervades in all of creation (from the largest to the smallest, in animate and inanimate things). We have to live our life with a constant awareness of this truth.

Rural life has everything and more ...

I was in awe of the rural women I met this time. Their bodies were fit and agile with not an ounce of extra flesh. They had busy lives cooking, sweeping, mopping, collecting firewood, washing clothes in the stream, daily long walks to get chores done, outdoors under the afternoon sun for several hours grazing the mountain goats in the wilderness, tending to grand children.

I compared them to their counterparts in the city, my parents, relatives, their friends and other folks. Though much younger in age they could hardly boast of a fraction of the physical abilities of these rural women. All of them were overweight from over eating, hours spent watching TV and maids to do the household chores. The city folks were perpetually complaining of aches and pains, various ailments that plagued their bodies, medicines and hospital visits.

The more I see, the more I am convinced that a rural life has in it everything that a human needs to live a healthy, productive and fulfilling life to a ripe old age. The naturally healthy food, pure air, clean water and the daily physical activity keeps the mind and body in top form.

A red rose has blossomed, my beloved: Oru Chempaneer ..

This is a melodious and touching song from the malayalam movie Sthithi. A song for every ordinary married couple who have faced together the extreme hardships, financial worries and the bitter uncertainties of life. Love for each other seldom gets expressed in the harsh routine of daily living. Despite that one remain secure in the knowledge that the love for the other is still very much alive .. deep within the heart. It is only when we take a moment to sit back and look, do we realize the beauty of this soundless symphony that is our daily lives.

Oru chempaneer pooviruthu njan omalle
Oru vela ninnerkku neettiyilla
Enkillum engane neeyarinju
Ente chemapneer pookunathay ninakkai
Sugandham parathunathayi ninakkai
Parayu...nee parayu....parayu...nee parayu
(A red rose has blossomed my beloved
Not even once have I extended one to you
But still, how did you know?
The very reason my red roses bloom is for you  
The very reason it spreads its fragrance is for you
Tell me..you tell me..)

Akamme niranja snehamam
Mathuryam oru vaakinal thottu njan nalkiyilla
Nira neelaraaville ekandathayil
Nin mizhiyille nannavoppi mayachathilla
Enkillum nee arinju
En ninavennum nin ninvariyunathayi
Ninne thazhukunathayi
( The love that fills me inside..
I haven't, with a single word, expressed its sweetness to you
In the solitude of the blueish early morning..
I haven't wiped away the wetness from your eyes
But still, you knew ..
That my thoughts everyday knows of your thoughts.
That my thoughts everyday are caressing you.)

Thanniye thelinga bhavamam
Shree ragam oru mathra nee othu njan mooliyilla
Pularmanju peyyunna yamathillum
Nin mridhu meni onnu thalodiyilla
Enkillum nee arinju
En manamennum nin manam ariyunathayi
Ninne thunarunnathayi
( Alone, when I sing the Sree ragam, the depth of feelings that arise ..
Not a verse have I hummed for you
Even when hardships, like the morning due, rained on us
I never embraced your soft body
But still, you knew ..
That my mind everyday knows what is in your mind
That my mind everyday is accompanying you )

Oru chempaneer pooviruthu njan omalle
Oru vela ninnerkku neettiyilla
(A red rose has blossomed my beloved
Not even once have I offered one to you )

Listen to this song on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhZiR20hYP8

To find our calling : Rumi shows us how ..

Another wonderful year has passed and as I wished at the beginning of last year, I yielded ever so slightly to all the strange pulls and tugs at my heart. I have no resolutions for this year either .. only to do more of the things that I love and to do it more often. 

With these beautiful quotes, Rumi the great Sufi mystic shows us how to find our true calling ..

Each one of us has a calling. Rumi says : "Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart". Did you know "Inside you there’s an artist you don’t know about.."?. Know that "What you seek is seeking you"
Rumi urges us to ask ourselves .."What in your life is calling you. When all the noise is silenced. the meetings adjourned... the lists laid aside, and the Wild Iris blooms by itself. In the dark forest...What still pulls on your soul?
Listen in silence .."There is a voice that doesn't use words. Listen!"; "Sometimes you hear a voice through the door calling you... This turning toward what you deeply love saves you"; "Let silence take you to the core of life."; "Sit quietly and listen for a voice that will say, "Be more silent." As that happens, your soul starts to revive.”
When you have listened..."Respond to every call that excites your spirit"  and“What matters is how quickly you do what your soul directs.” and slowly "Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love, it will not lead you astray."
Do what you love and rejoice!! "When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy" you will say "I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.” and everyday "Let the beauty of what you love be what you do".