Still bleeding ..

Spring is slowing getting here and the earth is warming up under the bright sun. I was walking along the nature trail lined with trees. Some of the branches were chopped last fall because they arched into the walking path.

Every cut is still bleeding..

I noticed that the chopped ends were very wet and the tree had stains all around the cut. I looked closer and saw that tree sap was gushing out from every single cut. I realized that the tree had not yet recovered from last years cuts. The wounds are still raw and bleeding profusely ..

Mother's Notes For Me

My mother wrote down a few Bhagavad Gita verses and their meaning for me on a sheet of paper when she came visiting a few years ago. I am sharing them here because they contain beautiful messages and very valuable instructions for living a righteous life.

My sweet mother's writing

klaibyam ma sma gamah partha
naitat tvayy upapadyate
ksudram hrdaya-daurbalyam
tyaktvottistha parantapa
This shlokam goads one to face life boldly and fearlessly and to never lose heart. We should never run away from the hardships of life. Hardships fall back when we cease to flee from them. It says, do not yield to unmanliness. It does not become you. Cast off such petty weakness of heart and arise.

karmanye vadhikaraste 
ma phaleshu kadachana, 
ma karmaphalaheturbhurma 
te sangostvakarmani 
An action is righteous only if it done without an ulterior motive. It is your right to work only but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction.

uddaredtatmanaatmanam 
atmana ma va sadayet
atmaiva atmano bandhu 
atmaiva ripuratmana
(This is my favorite) You must love and respect yourself first. You must uplift yourselves. You should never undermine yourself. You alone are your friend and you alone are your enemy.

mattah parataram nanyat
kincid asti dhananjaya
mayi sarvam idam protam
sutre mani-gana iva
These is nothing superior. Like pearls strung on a thread, everything is hooked unto me.
All of creation is connected to the divine.

yathakasa-sthito nityam
vayuh sarvatra-go mahan
tatha sarvani bhutani
mat-sthanity upadharaya
Understand that just as the mighty air is ever present and blowing everywhere in the atmosphere, the divine spirit pervades in all of creation (from the largest to the smallest, in animate and inanimate things). We have to live our life with a constant awareness of this truth.

The last mango tree, the last solace ..

On my recent trip, the mango tree still stood, laden with small green mangoes from every single stem. I didn't expect to see it this time. This tree which once stood in a lush orchard of mango and coconut trees is the last one still standing. As the city grows eating up every bit of free earth, the concrete jungle is closing in fast on this tree.

Sitting in the balcony of my parents apartment in the high rise building opposite this plot of land, I have watched all those who have sought the solace of this tree.

An old man who slept on the bench in the afternoon, poor mothers from the area who tied their saree to a low branch of the tree and rocked thier babies to sleep, the stray dogs that curled up under the bench, the construction workers who gathered there for a brief respite from the toil. The young school boys who plucked and ate the tart mangoes. The squirrels that ran up and down the tree and the pigeons and crows who called the tree home. 

This tree will be sorely missed! Nobody can save it from its doomed fate.....it is only a matter of time ..

Rural life has everything and more ...

I was in awe of the rural women I met this time. Their bodies were fit and agile with not an ounce of extra flesh. They had busy lives cooking, sweeping, mopping, collecting firewood, washing clothes in the stream, daily long walks to get chores done, outdoors under the afternoon sun for several hours grazing the mountain goats in the wilderness, tending to grand children.

I compared them to their counterparts in the city, my parents, relatives, their friends and other folks. Though much younger in age they could hardly boast of a fraction of the physical abilities of these rural women. All of them were overweight from over eating, hours spent watching TV and maids to do the household chores. The city folks were perpetually complaining of aches and pains, various ailments that plagued their bodies, medicines and hospital visits.

The more I see, the more I am convinced that a rural life has in it everything that a human needs to live a healthy, productive and fulfilling life to a ripe old age. The naturally healthy food, pure air, clean water and the daily physical activity keeps the mind and body in top form.

The Joy of Learning

"Joy of learning".. I've heard this many times, but it is only now that I truly experience the joy of learning.

These days the highlight of my week is my violin and dance classes. How I look forward to the tuesday and thursday evening classes. In those few hours I completely lose myself. I forget who I am... that I am a mother, my profession, my age, the chores, deadlines, ..everything disappears!! I am oblivious to the surroundings, the little kids in the class decades younger to me or the frigid weather outside. In those brief interludes time comes to a standstill and I am just a humble student with a simple desire to learn.

There is no pressure, no goals, nowhere to reach, nothing to prove and no one to show. At the end of the day, after I finish all my duties as a homemaker, mother, wife, daughter-in-law and a working professional, I learn if time permits and when the opportunity presents itself.

As strange as it may seem, I have no desires for vacations, restaurants, shopping, movies and other forms of entertainment. I have everything I need in the ordinary routine of my daily life. 

That is the way to learn the most, that when you are doing something with such enjoyment that you don't notice that the time passes - Einstein

A red rose has blossomed, my beloved: Oru Chempaneer ..

This is a melodious and touching song from the malayalam movie Sthithi. A song for every ordinary married couple who have faced together the extreme hardships, financial worries and the bitter uncertainties of life. Love for each other seldom gets expressed in the harsh routine of daily living. Despite that one remain secure in the knowledge that the love for the other is still very much alive .. deep within the heart. It is only when we take a moment to sit back and look, do we realize the beauty of this soundless symphony that is our daily lives.

Oru chempaneer pooviruthu njan omalle
Oru vela ninnerkku neettiyilla
Enkillum engane neeyarinju
Ente chemapneer pookunathay ninakkai
Sugandham parathunathayi ninakkai
Parayu...nee parayu....parayu...nee parayu
(A red rose has blossomed my beloved
Not even once have I extended one to you
But still, how did you know?
The very reason my red roses bloom is for you  
The very reason it spreads its fragrance is for you
Tell me..you tell me..)

Akamme niranja snehamam
Mathuryam oru vaakinal thottu njan nalkiyilla
Nira neelaraaville ekandathayil
Nin mizhiyille nannavoppi mayachathilla
Enkillum nee arinju
En ninavennum nin ninvariyunathayi
Ninne thazhukunathayi
( The love that fills me inside..
I haven't, with a single word, expressed its sweetness to you
In the solitude of the blueish early morning..
I haven't wiped away the wetness from your eyes
But still, you knew ..
That my thoughts everyday knows of your thoughts.
That my thoughts everyday are caressing you.)

Thanniye thelinga bhavamam
Shree ragam oru mathra nee othu njan mooliyilla
Pularmanju peyyunna yamathillum
Nin mridhu meni onnu thalodiyilla
Enkillum nee arinju
En manamennum nin manam ariyunathayi
Ninne thunarunnathayi
( Alone, when I sing the Sree ragam, the depth of feelings that arise ..
Not a verse have I hummed for you
Even when hardships, like the morning due, rained on us
I never embraced your soft body
But still, you knew ..
That my mind everyday knows what is in your mind
That my mind everyday is accompanying you )

Oru chempaneer pooviruthu njan omalle
Oru vela ninnerkku neettiyilla
(A red rose has blossomed my beloved
Not even once have I offered one to you )

Listen to this song on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhZiR20hYP8

To find our calling : Rumi shows us how ..

Another wonderful year has passed and as I wished at the beginning of last year, I yielded ever so slightly to all the strange pulls and tugs at my heart. I have no resolutions for this year either .. only to do more of the things that I love and to do it more often. 

With these beautiful quotes, Rumi the great Sufi mystic shows us how to find our true calling ..

Each one of us has a calling. Rumi says : "Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart". Did you know "Inside you there’s an artist you don’t know about.."?. Know that "What you seek is seeking you"
Rumi urges us to ask ourselves .."What in your life is calling you. When all the noise is silenced. the meetings adjourned... the lists laid aside, and the Wild Iris blooms by itself. In the dark forest...What still pulls on your soul?
Listen in silence .."There is a voice that doesn't use words. Listen!"; "Sometimes you hear a voice through the door calling you... This turning toward what you deeply love saves you"; "Let silence take you to the core of life."; "Sit quietly and listen for a voice that will say, "Be more silent." As that happens, your soul starts to revive.”
When you have listened..."Respond to every call that excites your spirit"  and“What matters is how quickly you do what your soul directs.” and slowly "Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love, it will not lead you astray."
Do what you love and rejoice!! "When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy" you will say "I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.” and everyday "Let the beauty of what you love be what you do".